Tony’s Review:
Attention Movie Fans: "The Cabin in the Woods" is the equivalent to what a bear does in the woods! I don't know what happened in the theater, but I feel violated. When I go to a steakhouse, I expect steak; an ice cream parlor, I expect ice cream. So when I go to a movie called the "Cabin in the Woods" I expect to see an edge of your seat horror flick that is worthy of the hard earned money I spent. That is not what I got in return. This movie was no more than a B-movie, and not a very good one at that. I have nothing against B-movies, but if that's what I am going to see let me know up front rather than playing the old switch-a-roo and wasting my time and hard earned dollars.
The premise of the movie is that ancient demons are always one step away from destroying the world, and the only thing that holds them back is the regular sacrifice of specific types of young adults. If that alone doesn’t set off the corny alarm I don’t know what does! However, none of this came across in the trailer. The movie had a few popular stars, which again covered its stinky tracks, and lured me into seeing it. This added to my feelings of being mislead. Now I will admit on those rainy Saturday nights or if your just hanging with friends and feeling stupid, then this movie will more than do the job; so it’s not totally useless. Just don’t put too much into it because like a bad relationship it doesn’t give back. It just takes and
stares back at you after the final credits roll and says…”What?!?” I give this one a heartfelt 1 bullet!
Will’s Review:
The previews for The Cabin in the Woods made it look like a suspense horror of the Hellraiser or Silent Hill variety. Well as it turns out, I was both right and horribly wrong. The movie actually had knockoff characters from both movies. As it turns out it had knockoff characters from just about every horror movie I have ever watched. This is one of the most confusing major motion pictures I’ve ever watched. Not because the storyline was complex; but because I wasn’t sure what kind of movie I was watching.
At times, it was intentionally comical like a spoof; at others suspenseful like a true horror movie; and others ludicrous like a bad sci-fi movie. The special effects were good, the cinematography excellent; yet nothing quite fit. When the movie ended, Tony and I looked at each other confused. It wasn’t until I was in the parking lot that it dawned on me. This was an amazing intentional B-movie. Now I like B-movies, but they are very taste specific. If you enjoy B-movies it is worth catching on Netflix (3 bullets), but since most people don’t, I rate it 2 bullets.
