I've loved action movies since I was a kid. I grew up on Stallone, Schwarzenegger, Willis etc. When I saw the previews for The Expendables they billed it as all the action legends together for the first and only time. I immediately though this is going to either be awesome, or horrible. Then I asked, how the hell did Schwarzenegger find time to film a movie while Governor. The answer is that his only scene (which was also Willis's only scene) was only about 4 minutes long and had about a dozen lines. So did the movie live up to the hype? Well it had a lot of action heroes in it, but that was about it.
I lost count of the number of times I sighed during the movie. I'm not sure which character was the most annoying. Jet Li never stops complaining about how he needs more money, and about how unfair it is that he is little. Couture goes on a long intellectual monologue about his cauliflower ear. Terry Crews character insists on explaining every detail about his drum fed shotgun and all the ammo he can use in it. And so on.
There were so many consistency, physics, and reality issues with the movie that you didn't even have to look for them, they were exasperatingly obvious. The special effects were just plain bad. By far the fire effects were the worst. I expected to see the credits to list a 5th grade computer science class as having done the CG.
Then there was the acting. The crown for WORST acting goes, unsurprisingly, to Steve Austin. Fortunately he only has a handful of lines in the movie, but those are bad enough that his performance manages to stand out like a hot pink turd in a cesspit. Even though it is surrounded by shit, it is still the most obvious and disgusting piece. I kept expecting him to say "Because Stone Cold said so!" after every line. (If you have ever lowered your IQ and watched WWF, you know what I'm talking about.) Every bit of dialog seemed strained and forced.
Jason Statham was the only one who seemed to give anything resembling an acceptable performance. His choreography in the fight scenes was entertaining. However a large chunk of his performance was in some sort of tangent that fleshed out his character (a little) but had nothing to do with the course of the movie. It seemed a pointless divergence from the main storyline, that contributed little if anything to the movie, except lengthen it.
This movie was one of the worst action movies I have seen in a long time. Fortunately the movie was loaned to me by a friend, and I didn't go see it in theaters, buy or rent it, or waste my Netflix DVD queue slot on it. I give it a 3.5 / 10.
I lost count of the number of times I sighed during the movie. I'm not sure which character was the most annoying. Jet Li never stops complaining about how he needs more money, and about how unfair it is that he is little. Couture goes on a long intellectual monologue about his cauliflower ear. Terry Crews character insists on explaining every detail about his drum fed shotgun and all the ammo he can use in it. And so on.
There were so many consistency, physics, and reality issues with the movie that you didn't even have to look for them, they were exasperatingly obvious. The special effects were just plain bad. By far the fire effects were the worst. I expected to see the credits to list a 5th grade computer science class as having done the CG.
Then there was the acting. The crown for WORST acting goes, unsurprisingly, to Steve Austin. Fortunately he only has a handful of lines in the movie, but those are bad enough that his performance manages to stand out like a hot pink turd in a cesspit. Even though it is surrounded by shit, it is still the most obvious and disgusting piece. I kept expecting him to say "Because Stone Cold said so!" after every line. (If you have ever lowered your IQ and watched WWF, you know what I'm talking about.) Every bit of dialog seemed strained and forced.
Jason Statham was the only one who seemed to give anything resembling an acceptable performance. His choreography in the fight scenes was entertaining. However a large chunk of his performance was in some sort of tangent that fleshed out his character (a little) but had nothing to do with the course of the movie. It seemed a pointless divergence from the main storyline, that contributed little if anything to the movie, except lengthen it.
This movie was one of the worst action movies I have seen in a long time. Fortunately the movie was loaned to me by a friend, and I didn't go see it in theaters, buy or rent it, or waste my Netflix DVD queue slot on it. I give it a 3.5 / 10.
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