John Carter: IMAX 3D (2012)

Captain John Carter is a treasure hunting cowboy in the West not long after the Civil War.  Thanks to an amulet, Carter suddenly finds himself on Mars.  Due to the low gravity (about 37% of Earth's) he has superior strength and jumping ability. The planet is dying and there are only two great human-like cities and a few scattered tribes of indian-like aliens.  The cities have been fighting for 1000 years, but the evil city has just obtained a weapon that threatens to end the millennium long stalemate.


Will's Review:
The first thing that surprised me is that this movie is exceptionally violent for a Disney film.  The second thing is that the movie has a unique plot element, but it's implementation feels like a rehash of other movies, especially Star Wars The Clone Wars and Superman.  There is even a gladiator arena execution complete with giant beasts and a massive final battle.  I noticed a couple of continuity issues, but considering the scale of the special effects, and number of people (characters, CG and extras) it could have been much worse.


That being said, the movie is very entertaining and as visually stunning as one of the main characters played by Lynn Collins.  I really enjoyed watching the movie despite its flaws.  If you have read many of my reviews, you know that I don't approve of the trend of making every movie in 3D just to wrest more money from the pockets of movie goers; especially since many movies are not improved by being in 3D.  That being said, I watched John Carter in IMAX 3D, and the 3D effect is done amazingly well and actually improves the visual experience of the film.


The acting is okay, but nothing special in my opinion.  The fight choreography is good and the CG is beautiful.  The overall experience is one worth watching.  The PG-13 rating (for intense violence and action) is appropriate, so don't equate 'Disney' with kid friendly for this film.  I give it 8 / 10. (KopOut Magazine score 4 / 5.  Worth Going to See in the Theater)

This Means War (2012)

Just about all of us have one; the friend you have known for years, that is like a brother.  One for whom you would do anything.  Now imagine that you and your friend both separately meet the girl of your dreams, only to find out you are both dating the same girl.  This is the premise for “This Means War.”   Tuck (Tom Hardy) and FDR (Chris Pine) are both CIA agents who fall for the same girl, Lauren (Reese Witherspoon).  They decide to not let her know that they know each other, and to let her date them both and may the best man win.  Their gentlemen’s agreement breaks down and they each bring the power of the US intelligence agency to bear on each other in an effort to sabotage their rival.  Hilarity ensues.

This Means War is hilarious.  I was laughing through half the movie.  The dialog is funny, and the physical comedy is top notch.  Now the plot is obviously unrealistic, but it works for this movie.  This is the kind of movie critics hate but audiences love.  It is just a comedy, with no real depth or message.

It is not going to win any of the major awards but it is worth watching.  The film is rated PG-13 for sexual content, violence and action.  It was originally rated R and they edited to get the PG-13 rating.  I’m guessing they barely got it because there is a bit too much sexual innuendo, etc for younger audiences.  I give it 8 / 10.

Red Tails (2012)

Like most boys, I watched many war movies like 'Memphis Belle', 'Iron Eagle', 'Top Gun', and of course the HBO movie 'The Tuskegee Airmen.' I grew up wanting to be a fighter pilot, a plan I kept to until I was 17 when the AirForce Academy application stated I would never be allowed to fly due to eyesight. I still love aviation  movies with dogfights in them.  When I heard that George Lucas was going to make a modern blockbuster movie about the Tuskegee airmen, I was excited. More accurately I was stoked.

The story of the Tuskegee Airmen is amazing.  A unit of African American and Haitian airmen, mechanics and support personnel , that overcame racism, prejudice and bigotry to become one of the most successful, decorated  and respected units of WWII.  The 332nd flew over 311 missions and only lost 25 bombers to enemy fire.  They shot down over 112 enemy planes, destroyed another 150 on the ground, 600 train cars, 40 boats and one destroyer.  A truly amazing record.

Red Tails has everything you would expect in a WWII aviation movie. Dog fights, explosions, planes flying past the camera, etc. It also has every cliche too.  The scarred German ace pilot, the grumpy aircraft mechanic, the maverick fighter pilot, the beautiful European love interest, etc.  The movie is a bit predictable and I don't to expect to see any Oscar nominations, but overall the story is enjoyable.

I read an article in the New York Times where Lucas said he wanted this movie to appeal to black teenagers.  He said he wasn't making it for grown-ups.  He wanted it to have a patriotic naiveté to it.  Now, in retrospect, I can see that intention.  So many of the movies I loved as a kid, I now find corny and predictable.  But they appealed to me and inspired me.  While Red Tails isn't as corny as Iron Eagle, it will definitely appeal to kids who see it.  It will instill pride in black teenagers who see it, and help drive home the point to all that it is the character and the drive of the man, not the color of his skin that determines ability.

Red Tails is envisioned as the middle movie in a trilogy.  Since Lucas had to foot the bill for the whole movie, I'm not sure if a studio will sign up to film the prequel, but if it does get filmed, I'll be in the theater to watch it.

Despite being a war movie, Red Tails does not have much blood in it. A few characters are shot and one gets burned, but by war movie standards it is very mild.  It is PG-13, but I think it would be fine for kids 10 and up.  I give it 8 / 10.

The Season of the Witch (2011)

In Season of the Witch, a knight named Behmen (Nicolas Cage) and his buddy, Felsen (Ron Perlman) are serving in the crusades.  After following orders to kill women and children, they desert and head for home.    When they are captured as deserters they are given the option to assist in escorting a confessed witch to a distant monastery.  They agree and begin the dangerous journey toward their freedom.

The Season of the Witch is quite short at 95 minutes, which is a good thing. The story left me sighing constantly, and shaking my head so much I looked like I had Parkinson's.  The graphics were lame, and done poorly.  The demons in the comedy TV series Reaper, looked better than in this big screen film.  During a sequence where bad guys are dropping down from the roof, it looked as if they kept reusing the same footage of one landing.  It felt like the space battle scenes in the original Battlestar Galactica series.

When the only good thing you can say about a movie, is that it could have been worse...there is a problem.  I did not enjoy this movie, and am grateful I didn't spend money on it.  Not worth watching.  I give it a 5 / 10.

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2011)

How a movie with sex, rape, forcible sodomy, nudity torture, mayhem, violence, dismembered people and animals, drug and alcohol usage, was able to get a R rating instead of NC-17 is beyond me.  Now normally I would say that all these things are a cheap way to drag people into the seats for the shock factor only.  But not so with this movie.  The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo is based upon the first book in the trilogy by Stieg Larrson.  There is already a Swedish version of this film made in 2009.  I’ve not read the books, or seen the original screen adaptation, although it and its sequel have been in my Netflix queue for months.

The story is that of the brilliant hacker Lisbeth Salander, played by Rooney Mara, and journalist Mikael Blomkvist, Daniel Craig, as they work together to try and solve a decades old murder.  While the movie is told with Mikael as the main character, it is Lisbeth who is the real heroine, and total bad ass, to the story.  After being sued for libel and loosing, Mikael is discredited and financially ruined.  He is approached by a billionaire and asked to investigate his family to try and determine who killed his great niece back in the 1960’s. Mikael agrees and hires Lisbeth to assist.  Along the way the pair delves into the entire family’s sordid secrets.

I’m not a huge fan of mysteries because I usually predict the ending within the first half of the movie.  To my pleasant surprise, that was not the case here.  The movie is full of twists, turns and red herrings. At over 2 and a half hours, the movie is very long...however it doesn't feel like it.  The pacing is perfect, and kept me riveted the whole time.  The performances by the main characters, and even the supporting characters, were excellent.  I expect to see several Academy Award nominations for this film.  The beautiful Rooney Mara, has already been nominated for a Golden Globe.  She will be up against competition like Viola Davis (The Help).  I do not think she will win, since she is nude in the movie, and in close competitions, the movie with nudity usually looses; but at least her performance was strong enough that they recognized it despite the nudity.

I thoroughly enjoyed this movie.  Much like Black Swan, it has a real dark feel to it, but is an exceptional story.  I would highly recommend you see this film, but DO NOT let your children watch it. In fact, I would discourage letting teenagers watch it.  I give it a 9 / 10.

Natural Born Killers: Director's Cut (1994)

First off I want to point out that Quentin Tarantino and Oliver Stone's famous Natural Born Killers had to be edited 5 times to earn its R rating. The version I saw is the director's cut, which would have been NC-17.

I've been told many times that NBK is a film that I needed to see. It has been in my Netflix queue for months. When I saw that it was expiring on January 1, I figured it was time to watch it.

NBK uses a multitude of graphic styles, from black and white, to super saturated, to 50's sitcom, to America's Most Wanted. It is extremely violent and graphic. It tries to be a comedy, a social commentary, an action film and an artistic expression. In the end it just ends up being a jumble.

I can see some merit to the film, such as the transformation of Detective Scagetti from an officer specializing in mass murderers, to a murderer himself. This directly relates to the quote by Neitzsche "Battle not with monsters, lest ye become a monster, and if you gaze
into the abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." However the social and philosophic commentaries are not enough to overcome the feel that this movie is violence for the sake of violence.

Woody Harrelson and Juliette Lewis deliver good performances, but every other character is ridiculously stereotyped and one dimensional. Even Robert Downey Jr, and Tommy Lee Jones's characters were so ridiculous that even their acting couldn't save them. Oliver Stone's
directing was unique and carried the film farther than it could have gone. The Mythbusters proved that you can actually polish a turd, but the fact remains...a polished turd is still a turd.

This movie is the epitome of a polished turd. I would advise against wasting your time watching it. It is definitely not something your kids should watch, and definitely deserves a NC-17 rating. I give it a 5/10.

Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol (2011)

If you are like me, when you first heard they were making a movie based upon the classic television series Mission Impossible, you were stoked. Then after watching the film, and each subsequent sequel, you felt disappointed. Well the string of disappointments is over. Ghost Protocol finally delivers a movie worthy of the franchise name.

When the MI team is framed for the bombing of the Kremlin, it falls to Ethan and a few agents to clear the organization's name, bring the real terrorists to justice and prevent nuclear war.

Tom Cruise may be bat-shit-crazy, but he certainly delivers a brilliant performance. Each of the main characters delivers superb, in-character performances. While the story is of course so far fetched as to have no semblance of reality, it fits for the franchise. The story successfully blends action, mystery, comedy and drama to create a well rounded mood.

The movie is rated PG-13 for action and violence, which is a fair rating. This movie is bound to make a ton of money, and may even see some nominations at the various awards shows. I would encourage you to go see this film on the big screen. I give it a 9/10.

In Time (2011)

"In Time" is the story of a world where humans are engineered to stop aging at 25 years old, and have an internal clock on their arm with only one year of time on it. The clock steadily runs down and if that clock reaches zero, you die. Time has replaced all currency. Wages are in time, coffee costs time, etc. There are places where the rich have thousands of years of time and others where people time out. When it becomes obvious that the system is set up so that the poor die off and the rich become practically immortal, Will, played by Justin Timberlake, embarks on a quest take revenge on the rich.

I should have known this film was destined for failure when a move about not wasting time, started over 45 minutes late at the theater. While the movie was entertaining, the plot didn’t work for me. Yet another movie that only works until you start thinking. You would have to have hundreds of people die immediately upon turning 25, just for one person to even be considered poor and live an extra 25 years.

The acting was okay, but nothing noteworthy. The cinematography was average. There was nothing spectacular or even well done for that matter. Don’t waste YOUR time going to the theaters, wait for video if you want to watch this film. I give it a 7.5.

Fright Night (2011)

If there is one movie genre we have had an overabundance of in the last several years it is vampire movies. Not surprisingly most of them suck more than the undead nosferatu that populate them. I was fully expecting Fright Night to fall in line with all the others. Instead I was pleasantly surprised. Instead of a not-scary horror film (or the other type of popular vampire move, the lame romance film) I found myself watching a campy action film that reminded me of watching The Monster Squad (1987) back when I was a kid. It has the same “geek vs overwhelming odds” feel to it.

When the teenage Charley (Anton Yelchin) realizes that his neighbor Jerry (Colin Farrell) is a vampire, he struggles to protect his mom and his new hot girlfriend while keeping them both in the dark about what he suspects. Along the way he tries to defeat Jerry but finds that he is ill prepared, and Jerry instead plays with him like a cat toying with a mouse.

While the movie is not going to win any Oscars, it is quite entertaining. Farrell delivers a very convincing performance. I was quite impressed. Everyone else’s performances were acceptable, but nothing that stood out. The movie successfully combined action and humor with a little bit of suspense. While there were the normal “oh how convenient” issues, they weren’t so much so that they detracted from the story.

All in all, this movie was quite fun and worth seeing. It is rated R, and I’d agree with the rating. While it has a “The Monster Squad” feel, it would not be appropriate for younger kids. I give it a 8 / 10.

Columbiana (2011)

In Columbiana, a young girl witnesses the murder of her mother and father, who is a Columbian drug cartel lieutenant. She flees to the United States and her equally criminal uncle takes her under his wing. She learns to kill and grows up to be a deadly contract killer. Eventually she begins to seek out those who killed her family so she can exact revenge.

The beautiful Zoe Saldana plays the lead character Cataleya. She is gorgeous and athletic. That is about all the good I can say about the movie. Acting is mediocre to poor. The storyline is ridiculous and horribly predictable. As with nearly every other movie involving law enforcement, and a computer, it is more science fiction than fact; and the cops are all idiots. There were so many stupid scenes in the movie that I felt like I was perpetually sighing.

The movie is so bad that I think the writer, director, and producers all must have been snorting some of Cataleya’s father’s product. I give it a 3 / 10.

Cowboys & Aliens (2011)

Westerns and Science Fiction. Two film genre’s that I’ve loved since I was a kid. One thing I remember thinking when I first watched Independence Day “What if they had come before we had jets and computers?” In Cowboys & Aliens, director Jon Favreau (director of Iron Man) and a team of seven writers tries to give you a taste of what it might have been like. You read that right, seven writers. The original comic book author, and six other people to turn it into a script suitable for an executive producer the likes of none other than Steven Spielberg.

Add in a cast to include Harrison Ford (Star Wars, Indiana Jones), Daniel Craig (Casino Royale) and Buck Taylor (Gunsmoke) and you have yourself a recipe for a sci-fi, western action move. Seriously, can you get any more Western than the cast of Gunsmoke; or any more Sci-Fi than Han Solo; or any more Action than James Bond? Not likely. So how does it work out? Poorly…

The acting was only mediocre. The horses gave better performances that some of the actors. Notably Walton Goggins, which is a shame since I really like his portrayal of Boyd Crowder on the TV show Justified. The CG is actually done well. They successfully blend the CG with daytime outdoor lighting in a way that puts to shame The Green Lantern (a recent movie that failed miserably at the integration). The action sequences are pretty entertaining despite being totally unbelievable. Then there was the actual story itself, which was less than stellar despite over a half dozen writers.

To enjoy the movie you of course have to suspend all logic. Aliens seem to have developed the ability to travel between stars and wipe out entire worlds, yet they still use lassos on their fighter aircraft? Lets not forget that their planes move extremely fast, yet at a very opportune moment can be overtaken by a man on horseback. Then you have the aliens who have never heard of an alarm, motion detectors, security cameras or even a damn guard dog for that matter. Oh, and the aliens are covered in a sort of armored carapace, yet open the carapace, exposing what is presumably their heart, when they go to feed.

Before seeing the movie, I thought it had a lot of potential to fuse two classic genres. However, the film never struck pay dirt. It might be worth watching when it comes out on video, but don’t waste your money at the theater. I have it a 6.5 / 10 (D).

Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)

Captain America, the patriotic, science created superhero who first appeared during WWII. Captain America was one of the first comic book heroes and as such had a huge fan following over the years. I didn't read comic books, so I only knew of the character as the dude who wore red white and blue and carried a shield. Having that in mind, I don't know how well the movie keeps to the Captain America comics, but I'm told it does a fairly good job. Anyway...

The USA is deeply embroiled in WWII, with nearly every able bodies male heading to the local recruiters office and shipping off to war. When the small, puny, picked on Steve Rogers (Chris Evans) tries to enlist he is rejected “4F” and sent packing. My step-grandfather was rejected 4F back in WWII and went into a depressed slump for quite a while. Not so with Rogers. He just makes up a new name and keeps trying at different recruiting centers, hoping to finally make it through. What Rogers lacks in strength and size, he makes up for in humility, and perseverance. Rogers catches the attention of a defected German scientist working with the US Government to make a super soldier. By the miracle of modern (1940's modern that is) science and a performance enhancing serum Rogers is turned into Captain America. Had he been made today he would certainly fit right in with half of Major League Baseball. Rogers eventually heads to Europe to help battle the Nazi menace.

Throughout the movie Rogers maintains the same confident, but humble attitude. This stands in stark contrast to all the other super hero movies made in recent memory. Iron Man, Green Lantern, Thor, Wolverine, etc. They are all cocky, arrogant and rude. One of the best lines in the movie is when Rogers asks why him, the doctor responds “A strong man who has known power all his life will lose respect for that power. A weak man knows the value of strength, knows the value of power and knows compassion [paraphrase].” This line applies to of all the other super heroes in the aforementioned movies.

The acting is okay, but not superb. Special effects aren't bad. I especially liked the feel of the integration of futuristic technology with actual period accurate technology/designs. In some aspects the futuristic stuff was taken a bit too far in my opinion, but overall it worked.

The film is rated PG-13 which I think is an accurate rating. The movie is fun and has a protagonist who actually sends a positive message. Well worth seeing. I'm expecting Captain America will be knocking on my door dozens of times this Halloween. I give it a 9 / 10.

Ip Man (2008)

Originally written March 7, 2011 at 4:23 am

Ip Man is a very loose biography of the life of Ip Man (or Yip Man) the Weng Chun Kung Fu master who trained Bruce Lee. The film takes place mostly during the Second Sino-Japanese War (1937-45). This war was already raging when WWII went into full effect in 1939-45. Research the Rape of Nanking to get an idea of how horrific this war was. Back to the movie however.
This is a Chinese film, in Chinese and Japanese. Don’t worry it is subtitled and amazingly in proper English. The film tells of Ip Man’s life in his 40’s. Ip Man appears to be an affluent, well to do, martial arts expert. Ip is well respected in the community, Foshan, as a man, and for his unmatched skill in Kung Fu. Despite this he refuses to teach, and does not work. He instead spends all his time training and with his family. When the Japanese invade his home town, Ip Man and his family are forced from their home become destitute. When the Japanese General occupying the town begins offering food to those who can beat his troops in martial arts fighting, Ip Man steps up to the plate. Along the way, he gives the Chinese hope and pride. Now when I said the movie is loosely based on his life I mean it was very loosely based. From what I can tell he was actually a police officer, both before and after the war, and eventually a heroin addict. In fact he apparently wasn’t even living in Foshan during the war.
The movie, while not historically accurate, is extremely well done. It was the winner of the Chinese version of the Oscars (Hong Kong Film Awards) for best picture and best action choreography; and was nominated in 9 other categories. For good reason too.
First, the fight choreography is phenomenal. It is fast, fun to watch, and really cool. There are a few cable-assisted moves, but nothing stupid and totally impossible like in Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon. The cinematography is done very well, and even features some high speed video to show some of the impacts of the fighting. This is put to good effect in contrasting the high speed fighting prevalent in much of the movie. The lighting, set design, and locations were all done very well and accurately set the mood of each scene. The acting was adequate to the best of my knowledge. I have no ear for Chinese or Japanese, so my assessment is based upon inflection, tone and body language.
The story is interesting and entertaining. If you are a fan of Kung Fu movies, this one is sure not to disappoint. I give it 8 / 10.

I Am Number Four (2011)

Originally written March 4, 2011 at 3:39 am

If I told you of a movie about a child born on another world, sent to Earth on the eve of his race's destruction; and as he ages on Earth begins to discover he has tremendous powers, what movie would you think of? Superman of course. However, a grown man in a full body spandex suit with contrasting primary colors is not very popular with today's 13-30 year old market. I am Number Four definitely has a lot of influence from the Superman/Smallville franchise, but is not a remake of it.
The plot of the film is okay but not great. There are logic flaws that are not answered. The movie is definitely set up to be a franchise with at least one sequel. It is unknown if the gaps are to be filled with subsequent movies, but the gaps hurt the film a little. The dialogue is lacking but has a few good lines, all of which come from one of the supporting characters, Sam played by newcomer Callan McAuliffe, who ironically is the only actual teenager in a movie that takes place mostly in a high school.
Alex Pettyfer plays the protagonist, John, number 4 of 9 alien children sent to earth. He was raised and mentored by Henri, played by Timothy Olyphant (Justified, Hitman, etc), who is a soldier sent with John to Earth. Dianna Agron (Glee) plays the human love interest. And of course, Kevin Durand plays the antagonist, a different kind of alien, trying to kill the 9. I swear that guy is in everything recently, other than looking crazy, I can't see why he is so popular.
Now on to what the movie did well. It is gorgeous. The cinematography is as good as you would expect from a cinematographer the caliber of Oscar winner Guillermo Navarro. Steven Spielberg was originally a producer, but his name is no longer on the credits, not sure at what point he left the film. The special effects (CGI) are excellent and done very well. The fight choreography and action sequences are done very well too. It is action packed and moves at a very quick pace.
The movie is visually beautiful, but lacks in depth. It is carried by its action packed pace and cinematography, and for that alone is worth watching. I give it 7.5 / 10.

Drive Angry 3D (2011)

Originally written February 25, 2011 at 1:05 am

The last year or two, 3D has been king. Take any movie and add 3D to it and people flock to see it. At this point Hollywood doesn't seem to have any standards for the actual film, other than film it in 3D. Soon we will see trailers for “Watching Paint Dry and Grass Grow 3D, an IMAX Experience.” Drive Angry seems to be in this genre as well. The posters and trailers even exclaim “SHOT IN 3D.”


They market it like it is another Gone in 60 Seconds, etc. When in reality it is more like a reverse Ghost Rider. Instead of being Hell's bounty hunter, Cage is the escaped soul being pursued by the bounty hunter while Cage tries to save his granddaughter from Satan worshipers. Don't worry, I'm not giving away the plot, it is apparent after about the first 10 minutes.


The acting is atrocious. The plot is worse. The crash scenes are comical. Like when Cage parks his car right in the path of a truck. The truck hits his car, flips over it, landing on the roof. Amazingly the grill of the truck is not even damaged. Then there are the chase scenes. Like when he is in a Charger with a 454, chasing a Winnebago. The Winnebago goes left, so he goes right to take a short cut and catch up to it. Dude, you are in a freaking muscle car, I think you can catch a motor home. Then when bullets disable his engine on the freeway, he ends up calling an old buddy to come pick him up. Meanwhile his granddaughter, whom he broke out of Hell to rescue, is still moving on down the freeway. Hello, you are already sentenced to Hell, why not run out and carjack someone? You don't have to hurt them if you have actually had some sort of paradigm shift in your personality. I won't even get into the way law enforcement is portrayed in the movie, as it is typical Hollywood drivel.


Now the one thing the movie does right is appeal to men. If you like hot nude women, sex, gun battles, and blood; then this is the movie for you. The best example is where Cage is actively having sex while killing a horde of Satan worshipers who attack his room. The pinnacle of this is when one bad guy actually hits Cage in the neck with an electric cattle prod and the woman's face tells you that she is getting a shocking experience too. Of hot women, there is an abundance. But that is good for about 5-10 minutes of the total movie. There are also several comical situations as well.


The special effects are okay, but nothing special. This movie is made to be watched in 3D. It was bad even in 3D. The cinematography, action, etc is all based on it being a 3D experience. I have a feeling this movie is going to be unbearably bad to watch otherwise. The camera focus, placement, etc will probably be very odd in normal viewing. Despite how bad the movie is, it has a fairly fast, action packed pace. It is mildly entertaining but don't go in expecting much. I give it a 5.5 / 10.

Gamer (2009)

Originally written January 14, 2011 at 2:59 pm

Social networking takes on a whole new meaning in the 2009 film Gamer, directed by Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor. Imagine a virtual world like Second Life or the Sims, but instead of controlling computer generated avatar's you actually control people in real life. People pay to control a human avatar, and the avatars are paid to allow themselves to be controlled. Nanotechnology turns part of the actor's brain into a Wi-Fi receiver and the player gets to control them like a remote control toy. Of course, this becomes a huge hit and the inventor becomes a billionaire. Remote controlled parties, orgies, etc are the norm for the remote world "Society." A spawn off of that is a remote controlled TV show "Slayers" where inmates on death row are allowed to volunteer for a chance to win their freedom. They are remote controlled by teenage gamers (think Counter-Strike) and if they can survive 30 missions, they are released with a full pardon. The inmates are called...wait for it...."iCons." Very Apple like. This is the stage for Gamer.
With the explosion in popularity of games like Sims and social networking like Facebook, I can definitely see a huge market for people being willing to pay to control a human avatar. I can even see using convicted criminals to fight wars (though not as a TV show) to gain their freedom. Gamer gives a unique look at what might be possible. That is about all I can say good about the movie.
Starring Gerard Butler as Kable, the protagonist, and Michael Hall (Dexter) as the billionaire antagonist, Castle; Gamer certainly brought well-known actors to the leads. However, the acting was forced, the storyline lame and predictable. The combat sequences were laughable. They even included Crouch-Jumping in the combat scenes. For those of you who do not play first person shooting games, to clear hurdles in many games you have to jump and crouch in mid air. This results in a totally unrealistic looking motion where one tucks their legs up under them instead of one leg forward and one back, etc.
There are many sequences in the movie that just did not make much sense and added nothing to the storyline. The movie is a waste of time. Fortunately, it is only 95 minutes long, but that is still 80 minutes too long. Had the potential to be a neat movie, but instead it just sucked and never delivered. Do not waste your time. I give it a 2 / 10.

Valhalla Rising (2009)

Originally written January 9, 2011 at 4:58 pm

Valhalla. The hall ruled by Odin in Norse mythology where half of all those slain in battle go. It has little if anything to do with Valhalla Rising.


In Valhalla Rising the lead character is a silent (possibly mute) one eyed warrior being held prisoner by Scottish pagans. He, later named One-Eye, is constantly bound and chained by the neck. The Scotts pit him against other men in a sort of gladiator, to the death, style combat. From the conversations between the Scotts it sounds as if One-Eye has been prisoner for at least 15 years. One-Eye appears to have stylized visions of the future.


After escaping, he kills all his captors except for the young boy who feeds him and binds his hands between fights. One-Eye and Are, the boy, meet up with a group of Christians preparing to leave Scotland and make for the Holy Land as part of the crusades. One of his visions seems to lead him to join them for unknown reasons.


When their ship encounters a seemingly never ending bank of mist, and the winds and tides still, they men are trapped on their boat and run out of rations. One man takes to drinking seawater and dies. Just as the others are about to die as well, they find themselves floating down (yes down) a freshwater river. They land promptly claim the land in the name of Jesus Christ and quickly begin to be killed one-by-one by primitive natives.


The solution to this is obviously to drink a hallucinogenic draft. After they finish praying, stacking rocks, and raping one another, the group splits on what to do. Stay where they landed, or cross the forest in hopes of finding the sea. One-Eye, still mute, somehow communicates through Are. It is unclear if One-Eye or Are is a prophet, or just making it up as he goes. In the end, everyone is dead and nothing is resolved.


Rarely, if ever, have I seen a movie with less point. The director, Nicolas Refn, seems to be trying very hard to make the film surreal. All he ends up doing is making the film confusing and directionless. The pace of the movie is odd, the musical score is horrible, and the acting is about as expressive as One-Eye’s dialogue. You know the acting is top notch when the main character does not speak a word, and has only one expression the whole movie. V’s Guy Fox mask in the movie V had a broader range of emotions than One-Eye shows. The only redeeming thing the movie has going for it is that much of the cinematography is beautiful and unique.


I am so glad the movie was only 90 minutes long. Watching Valhalla Rising was like waiting at a train station only to find out that the station has been closed for years. I give it a 3 / 10.

The Book of Eli (2010)

Originally written January 6, 2011 at 11:59 pm

The Book of Eli is set in a post apocalyptic world. Regardless the result is the same, humanity is in shambles, no one has really started rebuilding, they are move living off the scraps left behind. Think Mad Max. Eli (Denzel Washington) is one of the few alive who are old enough to remember the world before the apocalypse which occurred 30 years prior.


Eli is on a mission, and focused solely to that end. Eli is protecting a book and heading west. Eli states during the movie that he "Walks by faith." When you combine his name and the full statement of that abbreviated phrase and you will learn something very telling about Eli that might not be obvious when you watch the movie. I won't spoil it for you though.


One town Eli passes through is run by another old timer, Carnegie, played by Gregory Oldman (very fitting name). He is searching for a very specific book that he says has power. The power to help him unite and guide more people toward a rebuild civilization. He is obviously looking for The Bible. Though they don't come out and say it, the title of the movie, the advertising etc, make it apparent. He is ruthless in his search. Though he says he grew up with the book, it is obvious that he no longer remembers its lessons. When he finds that Eli has it he stops at nothing to take it from him. Eli continues on his quest west and picks up Mila Kunis's character, Solara, along the way. Together they fight to protect the book from Carnegie.


The storyline is not bad; the story does grab you and hold your attention for most of the movie. The cinematography is hit and miss. In some scenes it is good, in others it is poor. The fight choreography is pretty good. Washington delivers a good performance, as is normal for him. Some logical things were ridiculously beyond belief, but in post apocalypse movies thats normal. Overall the movie was entertaining. There was symbolism laced throughout the movie that is easy to overlook but adds to the depth of the movie. However most of that will not be noticed by the average person going to see an action movie. It is worth watching but not going to be winning any awards. I give it a 7 / 10.

Tron: Legacy (2010)

Originally written December 21, 2010 at 2:07 pm

Tron (1982) was before my time. I first saw it when I was a kid, and was amazed. The special effects were mind blowing for the time. When previews for Tron: Legacy first showed in theaters, I was stoked. I, admittedly, had unreasonably high expectations. They were let down some, but not too much.


I knew that I wanted to see Tron: Legacy in 3D. My fellow movie critic, Tony Route, decided to go IMAX 3D. At a hefty pricetag of $17.50 I nearly choked, but I'm glad I saw it in IMAX 3D. The huge screen made quite a difference. There were times that it really did feel like I could reach out and touch the action. I think that 3D makes a huge difference in the experience of watching this movie. Now on to the film itself.


Tron: Legacy takes place 20+ years after the first film. Without giving up too much of the story, Jeff Bridges character, Kevin Flynn, has been trapped inside The Grid for over 20 years. His son, Sam played by Garrett Hedlund, is grown up now and has turned into something of an angry rebel. No one, including Sam, knew what happened to his father. Sam accidentally finds his father's lab and gets sucked into The Grid. There he encounters his father's electronic doppelgänger, Clu (Codified Likeness). The plot reveals that Clu, Flynn and Tron had worked together to create a perfect digital world. When Clu staged a coup, Flynn found himself trapped inside. Sam and Flynn work together, along with Olivia Wilde's character, Quorra, to escape from The Grid and prevent Clu from escaping it.


The special effects in this movie are beyond top notch. Flynn and Clu are both played by Bridges, but their appearance is over 20 years difference. Clu is still young, while Flynn is old and gray. The effect to make Bridges look young again is done with CG. While not perfect, it is very good. I can't think of a better example of a human likeness in a movie done by CG. The light cycles, etc are awesome. The architecture, and design of The Grid are beautiful to watch, and in 3D they feel like they are coming right out at you. The movie is stunningly beautiful (as are the women characters LOL).


The plot leaves many questions unanswered, and some parts of it are a bit hard to follow. I'm guessing these areas will be expanded upon when a director's cut (or commentary) blueray is released. There are a few moments that are very cheesy and play to the vast majority of people who have no clue about computers but have watched CSI too much. Like when Sam accesses his dad's computer by typing "backdoor". Instead of being sent to a porn site, he magically bypasses his dad's security and has access to everything. Despite the cheese, and the vague areas, the movie is entertaining and could be much worse (see nearly every other sequel in the past decade).


The performances of the actors playing the main characters were not bad. Bridges's playing both a protagonist and antagonist, young and old, stood out above the rest. Some of the supporting characters were a bit on the bland side. It wouldn't be so noticeable, considering they are supposed to be playing computer programs, except that some of the other characters/programs are extremely emotional and animated.


While Tron: Legacy is not perfect and did not live up to my lofty expectations, it is still a very entertaining movie. One I would encourage you to go and see in theaters on a 3D screen. I give it 8 / 10.


*Edit*
I'm hearing from my buddies that have seen Tron in non-3D format that it doesn't look nearly as good as it does in 3D. Without the stunning visuals, I think an appropriate rating would be 6.5 / 10.

The Hurt Locker (2008)

Originally written December 20, 2010 at 12:10 am

**SPOILER ALERT** In my rant I give away huge chunks of the movie.
When I watched Avatar, I was blown away. It is the only movie I have ever watched multiple times in the theater. When it lost the Academy Awards in almost every category to The Hurt Locker, a movie I had not seen, I assumed it was because The Hurt Locker must have been beyond awesome. I had heard that there was some politics behind it since the director of The Hurt Locker, Kathryn Bigelow is the ex-wife of the director of Avatar, James Cameron. I now firmly believe that Cameron was robbed in some sort of popularity contest. I was excited as I started the DVD. That excitement turned, quickly, into sighs.


The Hurt Locker follows a three man Explosive Ordinance Disposal (EOD) team based out of Camp Victory in Baghdad (October 2004, year after I was there) as they are called out to diffuse numerous Improvised Explosive Devices (IED).


Let us start with the things the movie did well. The cinematography is well done. The sets featuring Iraqi streets were done fairly well. The best I have seen in a movie set in Iraq to date. Jeremy Renner delivered a very good performance as the lead character William "Will" James (great name!). That is about it.


Now for the things that were just beyond ridiculous. The three-man EOD team moves about Baghdad in an HMMWV (Humvee) by themselves. Not in convoy, etc. In fact, there are scenes where they do not even have someone in the turret. Like they are out for a nice leisurely Sunday drive. We did this in blacked out civilian vehicles working with the Iraqi Police, but never in a Humvee. That is just asking to be ambushed which is why standing orders were (and probably still are) three vehicle convoys minimum.


Then amazingly, they seem to be out on long distance patrols for no apparent reason. While out on the patrol they come across a bunch of private contractors (think Blackwater) who happen to have had a flat tire in the middle of the desert while transporting two of the Playing Card members of Saddam's regime. Amazingly, the soldiers cannot tell that they are contractors so they get out of the Humvee, and advance across a great deal of open terrain without cover to disarm one of them. Then they finally realize what is going on. Amazingly, an Iraqi sniper team ambushes them from a distant building. So far distant in fact that the American's can barely make out the enemy through the scope of the Barrett .50 sniper rifle. The Iraqi sniper is using what appears to be a Draganov and has channeled the spirit of Carlos Hathcock, rarely missing a shot. After killing the sniper, they sit watching for the rest of the day, in the sun. They never get reinforcements, air support, etc. When one member tells Will that he sees movement behind them (in the middle of a bunch of goats) the team leader does not look, instead he tells the guy it is his call. The guy shoots (and kills an insurgent), and Will the psychic knows that the insurgent is dead and says good job.


The scene that throws all logic to the wind is one of the first. Will and his crew go to diffuse a bomb. They cannot find the soldiers who called for them. They find their Humvee empty, soldiers nowhere to be seen. Will spots someone waving a small American flag out of a building. He walks over and the entire squad is hiding in the entryway of a building and says that the bomb is down the road. The soldiers fear is plainly evident. Will shuns the use of the robot, and instead suits up. He walks out and deploys smoke on the way. Okay, I could possibly see deploying smoke to obscure your movement so an insurgent does not see you getting close to the bomb to diffuse it, but you would need to put smoke in all directions the guy might be watching from. He then continues down the road, the only ones not able to see him, are the troops. Iraqi's are everywhere watching. Oh, and this is a magic smoke grenade. He keeps walking through smoke even though the grenade is far behind him and not being blown forward. He then walks into an intersection with Americans guarding it. So I guess the cowardly soldiers he is disgusted with, are also the ones furthest from the bomb. Suddenly an Iraqi in a taxicab drives around the roadblock (without being shot at all) and nearly runs Will over. Will draws his US Army issue Beretta. Amazingly it is a Beretta 92 which has not been manufactured since 1976 (obvious because it has no safety) instead of the 92FS. He then gets the driver to back up to the soldiers who promptly take him into custody. He then continues down the road, now probably about 1/4 mile from where he started. He finds and diffuses a bomb. Then realizes it leads to multiple more. He quickly diffuses them all while the insurgent who buried them watches. The insurgent waits to go downstairs and blow the bombs until Will is almost done. By the time he gets down the two flights of stairs, it is too late and Will is finished. Will shows him the blasting cap in victory and lets him go.


Shortly thereafter, a Psychologist Lieutenant Colonel decides to go on a mission with them. An IED in a rice bag goes off and vaporizes him, leaving only his helmet. He is so obliterated that there is no blood, and apparently no body, because one team member is desperately trying to find him. The three-man team is called to collect unexploded ordinance from a building. Amazingly the troops who called them had not actually cleared the building yet. I'm still unclear how the psychic troops knew that there were bomb making materials in the building if they hadn't gone in it yet, but hey this is Hollywood right. Therefore, the three-man team clears the whole building by themselves while the dozens of infantry stay outside. I guess EOD is trained to act as Delta operators in their spare time or something.


The Hurt Locker is Hollywood's extreme left wing biased view of what war is and soldiers are. The most telling moment is the scene where there is a wounded insurgent and the soldiers are ordered to execute him despite the medic's assertions that his wounds are survivable. If this were the case in reality then we would not have to have any debates about Guantanamo Bay because there would not be anyone there.


In short, this movie was so frustratingly illogical that I found it impossible to enjoy. Even looking back at it and trying to imagine watching it as if I was never a soldier, nor an OIF vet, I still do not think I could get past the total lack of logic. Amazingly nearly all the top critics love it. Reading up on it, it seems that many OIF veterans and EOD Techs are quite disgusted with it. I totally agree with them. I give it a 4.5 / 10, which places it on par with GI Joe Rise of the Cobra, which seemed more realistic.