The Cabin in the Woods (2012)

Tony’s Review:
Attention Movie Fans: "The Cabin in the Woods" is the equivalent to what a bear does in the woods! I don't know what happened in the theater, but I feel violated. When I go to a steakhouse, I expect steak; an ice cream parlor, I expect ice cream. So when I go to a movie called the "Cabin in the Woods" I expect to see an edge of your seat horror flick that is worthy of the hard earned money I spent. That is not what I got in return. This movie was no more than a B-movie, and not a very good one at that. I have nothing against B-movies, but if that's what I am going to see let me know up front rather than playing the old switch-a-roo and wasting my time and hard earned dollars.

The premise of the movie is that ancient demons are always one step away from destroying the world, and the only thing that holds them back is the regular sacrifice of specific types of young adults. If that alone doesn’t set off the corny alarm I don’t know what does! However, none of this came across in the trailer. The movie had a few popular stars, which again covered its stinky tracks, and lured me into seeing it. This added to my feelings of being mislead. Now I will admit on those rainy Saturday nights or if your just hanging with friends and feeling stupid, then this movie will more than do the job; so it’s not totally useless. Just don’t put too much into it because like a bad relationship it doesn’t give back. It just takes and
stares back at you after the final credits roll and says…”What?!?” I give this one a heartfelt 1 bullet!

Will’s Review:
The previews for The Cabin in the Woods made it look like a suspense horror of the Hellraiser or Silent Hill variety. Well as it turns out, I was both right and horribly wrong. The movie actually had knockoff characters from both movies. As it turns out it had knockoff characters from just about every horror movie I have ever watched. This is one of the most confusing major motion pictures I’ve ever watched. Not because the storyline was complex; but because I wasn’t sure what kind of movie I was watching.

At times, it was intentionally comical like a spoof; at others suspenseful like a true horror movie; and others ludicrous like a bad sci-fi movie. The special effects were good, the cinematography excellent; yet nothing quite fit. When the movie ended, Tony and I looked at each other confused. It wasn’t until I was in the parking lot that it dawned on me. This was an amazing intentional B-movie. Now I like B-movies, but they are very taste specific. If you enjoy B-movies it is worth catching on Netflix (3 bullets), but since most people don’t, I rate it 2 bullets.

21 Jump Street (2012)

Two rookie cops who went to school together find themselves assigned to flesh out the ranks of the recently revived 21 Jump Street unit.  Their mission is to pose as high school students and infiltrate and expose a drug ring.  When they start school they find that the social dynamics of high school are not as they remember them.  Hilarity ensues as they struggle to adapt to their new identities, their roles in the school and to track down the drug ring.

When I first saw a trailer that siad they were remaking 21 Jump Street and it was going to be a buddy comedy, I looked at Tony and told him "Some things should not be remade."  I had no intentions of watching the movie and frankly figured it was going to suck.  I was very wrong.

This movie is hilarious.  I haven't laughed this hard since The Hangover (although The Hangover has this movie beat).  Now this movie plays on all sorts of stereotypes so some might get offended.  The dialog is what makes this movie so hilarious.  While Channing Tatum gives a good performance, Jonah Hill really carries the movie.  His comedic timing, and body language are spot on.

Naturally the law enforcement aspect is incredibly unrealistic and weak, but the movie is funny enough that even cops can overlook it.  21 Jump Street is rated R for numerous reasons.  I would say it could probably pull off a PG-13 rating if it weren't for the drug usage in the movie.  This movie is one you really need to watch.  I give it 9 / 10.  (KopOut Magazine score 5 / 5.  Go see in the Theater)

Wanderlust (2012)

George (Paul Rudd) and Linda (Jennifer Aniston) live in New York and finally buy a tiny apartment in the West Village.  Murphy steps in and their finances dry up.  They find themselves unable to afford their home, and unable to sell.  They decide to move to Atlanta to live with George’s jerk brother.  On the way they stay the night at a bed and breakfast that turns out to be a hippie commune.  The next day, they leave and move in with George’s brother.  It doesn’t take long before living with his brother becomes unbearable and they decide to give life on the commune a try.

Wanderlust mixes banter, situational comedy and slapstick into a hilarious comedy. It is crude and has a fair amount of nudity in it, but unfortunately, it isn’t anyone you would actually want to see nude.  “That which has been seen, cannot be unseen.”  One incredibly long scene is not very funny and drags on far too long.  It really kills the flow of the movie and I am not sure what the director was trying to accomplish with it.  The casting was great and everyone really fit his or her character.  Costume and set design were awesome as well. 

In all, I really enjoyed Wanderlust.  It is rated R for sexual content, graphic nudity, drug usage and language.  The rating is more than appropriate.  I would discourage letting kids watch this movie, at all.  I give it a 7 / 10.  (KopOut Magazine score 3 / 5  - Watch it on DVD/Netflix)

John Carter: IMAX 3D (2012)

Captain John Carter is a treasure hunting cowboy in the West not long after the Civil War.  Thanks to an amulet, Carter suddenly finds himself on Mars.  Due to the low gravity (about 37% of Earth's) he has superior strength and jumping ability. The planet is dying and there are only two great human-like cities and a few scattered tribes of indian-like aliens.  The cities have been fighting for 1000 years, but the evil city has just obtained a weapon that threatens to end the millennium long stalemate.


Will's Review:
The first thing that surprised me is that this movie is exceptionally violent for a Disney film.  The second thing is that the movie has a unique plot element, but it's implementation feels like a rehash of other movies, especially Star Wars The Clone Wars and Superman.  There is even a gladiator arena execution complete with giant beasts and a massive final battle.  I noticed a couple of continuity issues, but considering the scale of the special effects, and number of people (characters, CG and extras) it could have been much worse.


That being said, the movie is very entertaining and as visually stunning as one of the main characters played by Lynn Collins.  I really enjoyed watching the movie despite its flaws.  If you have read many of my reviews, you know that I don't approve of the trend of making every movie in 3D just to wrest more money from the pockets of movie goers; especially since many movies are not improved by being in 3D.  That being said, I watched John Carter in IMAX 3D, and the 3D effect is done amazingly well and actually improves the visual experience of the film.


The acting is okay, but nothing special in my opinion.  The fight choreography is good and the CG is beautiful.  The overall experience is one worth watching.  The PG-13 rating (for intense violence and action) is appropriate, so don't equate 'Disney' with kid friendly for this film.  I give it 8 / 10. (KopOut Magazine score 4 / 5.  Worth Going to See in the Theater)

Gone (2012)

In Gone, Jill (Amanda Seyfried) was kidnapped from her home by a stranger and thrown into a pit in the forest.  In the bottom of the pit Jill found human bones.  When the kidnapper climbed down to kill her, Jill fought back and managed to escape.  The police initiated a search but never located the killer or the pit into which he had thrown Jill.  The police eventually decided Jill was crazy and began to ignore her.  A year later, Jill’s sister Molly disappears in the middle of the night from Jill’s home.  Believing the kidnapper had come back, Jill sets out to save her sister before it is too late.

This movie was better than I expected.  It is suspenseful, engaging and has a few red herrings that keep you guessing.   The acting is good but not Oscar worthy.  My only real complaint about the movie is that the suspense builds the entire movie, but the final climax is a bit anticlimactic.  

The movie is worth seeing but definitely not kid friendly.  I give it 7 / 10.

This Means War (2012)

Just about all of us have one; the friend you have known for years, that is like a brother.  One for whom you would do anything.  Now imagine that you and your friend both separately meet the girl of your dreams, only to find out you are both dating the same girl.  This is the premise for “This Means War.”   Tuck (Tom Hardy) and FDR (Chris Pine) are both CIA agents who fall for the same girl, Lauren (Reese Witherspoon).  They decide to not let her know that they know each other, and to let her date them both and may the best man win.  Their gentlemen’s agreement breaks down and they each bring the power of the US intelligence agency to bear on each other in an effort to sabotage their rival.  Hilarity ensues.

This Means War is hilarious.  I was laughing through half the movie.  The dialog is funny, and the physical comedy is top notch.  Now the plot is obviously unrealistic, but it works for this movie.  This is the kind of movie critics hate but audiences love.  It is just a comedy, with no real depth or message.

It is not going to win any of the major awards but it is worth watching.  The film is rated PG-13 for sexual content, violence and action.  It was originally rated R and they edited to get the PG-13 rating.  I’m guessing they barely got it because there is a bit too much sexual innuendo, etc for younger audiences.  I give it 8 / 10.

One for the Money (2012)

One for the Money is the film adaptation of the first book in an 18 book series by Janet Evanovich.  I’ve never read the series myself but I’m told the movie does not stick to the book.  With that said, I’m pretty sure that there won’t be a film adaptation for “Two for the Dough.”

The movie is the story of Stephanie Plum, an unemployed lingerie store manager who, desperate for a job, goes to her sleazy cousin Vinnie who is a bail bondsman.  Instead an office job, she becomes a bounty hunter.  When she tries to bring in a cop wanted for murder, she ends up investigating the murder instead.

The movie stars the beautiful Katherine Heigl (Knocked Up) alongside Jason O’Mara (Terra Nova).  The two have some witty banter back and forth that carries the movie.  The law enforcement investigations side will leave any police officer sighing at the absurdity.  Joe Six Pack may not have problems with it, but this movie will frustrate police officers to no end.

The movie has a PG-13 rating that I think is appropriate.  However, I wouldn’t waste your money at the theater watching it.  It might be worth watching on Netflix or Redbox though.  I give it 6 / 10.